Why do my sports teams have a bunch of assholes on them?

Like many people in America, I am a fan of professional sports.  My favorite sport is Baseball, followed closely by NFL football.  I am a casual NHL fan, and I really don't know anything about the NBA.  I have zero interest in all college sports, especially College Football.  (Too many teams, they stop the clock every friggin second, and I just don't have any love for the game.)  If I told you my favorite teams, it would make complete sense to you because I live in Northern NJ.  I am a diehard NY Yankee fan.  I root for the NY Rangers in hockey.  And because this is AMERICA, I have to cheer on AMERICA'S TEAM, the Dallas Cowboys. 

 I am fiercely loyal to my teams.  The Yankees have always honored the loyalty of myself and all of their fans by fielding teams that are competitive year after year.  Besides, the only alternative would be to root for the Mets, and let's be realistic, the Mets suck, and they always will.  The NY Rangers, on the other hand, are much harder to root for.  They haven't won a cup since '94, and every year they seem to make boneheaded free agent signings or bad trades.  For example, they decide to let Sean Avery go, and then take him back after he makes a complete ass of himself and no one else would touch him with a ten foot pole.  

What makes it harder to root for the Rangers is the fact that the NJ Devils represent my beloved Garden State, they play right in Newark in a beautiful new arena, and they have been one of the classiest organIzations in the sport.  (The capital I is to represent the Canadian pronunciation of the word, eh!)  What makes it more difficult is the fact that they have won THREE cups since the Rangers last one in '94.  I mean, we only got to use the old 19 NEVER chant for one strike shortened season, after years of hearing the 1940 chant at the Meadowlands.  (1940 of course being the year the Rangers won the cup before 1994, and the Devils won their first cup in 1995.)  

Still, I am loyal to my teams.  I will never not root for the Yankees, no matter how many A-ROID scandals, or Clemmons "Misrememberings", or Giambi apologizing for "taking that stuff."  I was so crushed after they lost to the Red Sox in 2004 that I couldn't go to work the next day.  I was crippled, my world was shattered.  The Red Sox just can't beat the Yankees.  It's not possible!  (Even though they won that series, and two World Series, they still suck.)   I watch every game when I can, or I listen on the radio.  

Though I do not catch nearly as many Ranger games, I am still VERY loyal to the blueshirts.  I could never root for the Devils, even though it would be easier.  My brother and I were Ranger fans back when the Devils were in Colorado as the "Rockies."  When the Devils showed up, we didn't automatically embrace the team just because they were from Jersey.  We remained loyal to the Rangers, and our loyalty was rewarded with the magical season of 1994.  (I guess being a Ranger fan is the closest I can come to being a Met fan.  The team usually sucks, they are choke artists, but every once in a while the sun shines on the proverbial dog's ass and they win.)

Now the team that truly tests my loyalty, is the Dallas Cowboys.  I have been a cowboy fan since before I can remember.  I think my father rooted for them back in the 70s because he loved Roger Staubach, and it must have rubbed of on me.  (My father is currently a fan of the NFL, but not of any one team.)  The Cowboys have provided great memories for me as a fan, and some of the players that went through Dallas just had so much heart that you had to admire them.  (Especially Emmitt Smith.)  This coupled with my loyalty has been enough to keep me rooting for the 'Boys through the lean years that followed the glory days of the 90s.  

The problem I have with the cowboys now is the team is GUTLESS.  Their quarterback chokes worse than ARod in the clutch.  They sign idiots like Pacman Jones to contracts worth millions.  They allowed T.O. to completely destroy the team with his antics.  The team has no character.  I know Michael Irvin was a stripper loving coke-head, but dammit, he played his ass of on Sunday.  He was by all accounts a great teammate on the field.  He was tough as nails, and he would probably knock his mama down to get to a ball in the air.  And he never dropped the ball.  EVER.  T.O. usually has more drops than catches.  He hears the footsteps.  

I'm sure you can imagine my joy at the news that T.O. was released this week by my team.  I felt great when I heard the news.  Finally, the Diva is gone!  Besides, wide receivers are really not as important as good lineman, and a good quarterback.  There are plenty of guys who can fill the role and do a decent job.  There may be some drop off from T.O., but if the quarterback can stop worrying about his girlfriend, they should be fine.   

I celebrate the departure of T.O. with some trepidation, however.  There are two free agents that the Cowboys are rumored to be interested in.  One of them is Ray Lewis from the Baltimore Ravens.  The other is Michael Vick, of the Federal Penitentiary.  Most of you know the history of these guys, but if you don't I will be brief.  Lewis was accused of accessory to murder a few years back.  The charges were dropped because he cooperated with police.  He has since found Jesus and is supposed to be a changed man.  I for one don't buy it.  Vick, well lets just say that PETA does not like him very much.

I am saying it right here and now, making it public: If the Cowboys acquire either one of these guys, I will NOT root for them any longer.  I will cease being loyal to my team.  They tested my patience with T.O.  Pacman really caused me to ponder whether or not I can continue to root for the Cowboys.  If they get either of these turkeys, I am done.  I can't do it anymore.  I hate to lose one of my teams, but my conscience won't allow me to support them anymore if they keep getting these low character dirtbags to play for them.  I would rather they go 2-14 (provided the two were against the Giants) than see either one of these lowlifes win a Super Bowl in a Cowboy uniform.  The madness has to stop.  I can't allow myself to root for a team that continues to pay millions of dollars to a bunch of criminals and crybabies.  I know my other teams have their flaws, but by and large the players on the Yanks and Rangers are not criminals, and most of them are team players.  

This offseason, the Dallas Cowboys will test my loyalty.  I know Jerry Jones couldn't care less about it, but I hope they pass my test.  I hope JJ will realize that character is just as important as raw ability.    

Saturday School, and the Achievement Gap

I am, as usual, unable to sleep on a Friday night.  Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem since for the majority of the year I am afforded the luxury of sleeping in a little bit on Saturday.  But these days, I am working a little extra at the old high school in Elizabeth.  I have once again volunteered to work for the Saturday Attendance Program at Elizabeth High School.  It is basically an easy job, where kids come in to make up time for the days they missed during the year.  As a teacher of this program, I have to make sure the kids do work and stay calm for four hours.  It is basically the Breakfast Club, only with 50-100 kids in the room instead of five.  And, I almost forgot, most of the kids are Black or Hispanic. 

 It is actually a really fun job.  I get to sit around and shoot the breeze with young kids who are fearless, who have no idea about what life is about, or what they are going to do or be.  Yet, they think they know everything.  I hear about their plans for their futures, and I just have to laugh, because I remember that there was a time when I knew everything as well.  They talk about going to college, and going away and living a fancy dorm life, like the ones they see on TV.  Then I ask them if they have taken the SAT or applied to any schools, and they say, "Not yet."  At this point, I inform them that it is March of their Senior year, and they should most likely get this done ASAP.  They say they have it under control.  At times like this,  I can't help but wonder, "When I was a senior, I had all my applications done by mid January, by March I knew where I was going, and my goals were realistic.  What are these kids thinking?"

Then, I realize that I grew up in a completely different culture.  At my high school, it was unusual NOT to go to college or technical school.  Our guidance counselors had maybe 75 -100 kids to work with.  Our parents, especially mine, raised us with the mindset that college was inevitable, just like second grade followed first, college followed high school.  

Compare that to the scenario at EHS.  Our counselors have 150-200 kids to service.  It is unusual to go to college at all, let alone graduate.  The parents may wish their kids go to college, but the reality is, for many of them it is an unrealistic dream.  There is no one pushing them to get their stuff together.  Even if they are not college material, there are plenty of other opportunities they can pursue to further their education.  Yet many of these opportunities remain unexplored.

Now granted, the kids don't make it easy for you to motivate them.  They will resist doing anything at all, even if it is for their own benefit.  This is not a cultural thing, this is a teenager thing.  Black, White, or Hispanic, poor, middle class or wealthy, teenagers are the same on many levels.  They can surf the internet, talk on the phone, and watch TV at the same time, but ask them to write a college essay and you get blank stares.  The difference is the suburban kids will eventually buckle under the pressure to do the "right thing" while the urban kid will most likely not get the same pressure.  It doesn't matter how much me, or anyone else gets on their case, if everyone isn't on the same page, it isn't going to work.  

Which brings me to my next point.  We talk about "fixing education" and bridging the "achievement gap."  We throw money at the problem in the form of "professional development", "whole school reform models" and of course, "standardized testing."  We give billions of dollars to urban schools to "level the playing field."  What we don't address, what really can't be addressed, is the fact that though the budget increases, the culture stays the same.  Not everyone is on the same page.  Even if one family is in sync with the school, there are too many that are not, and mediocrity becomes the norm.

Don't get me wrong, I love the funds that pour in.  Do you think I would be going to work on a Saturday for free?  I just get tired of the whole idea that urban teachers are inferior to their suburban counterparts.  I get tired of hearing people complain about the achievement gap, and how their solution to this problem includes more testing.  In fact, the NJ Dept. of Ed. recently decided that in the next several years NJ will have exams for each subject, similar to NY's Regents Exams.  I'll make a prediction:  Milburn, Livingston, Caldwell, and Westfield will score very well on these exams.  Newark, Irvington, and Elizabeth will not.  The achievement gap will widen!  And the problem will persist, and then we will have to try something else, that will no doubt cost even more money.

At least I will probably get some overtime work tutoring kids for the History exam, because I am sure the district will receive some funding for that purpose.  

25 stories about my father, Al Donnelly

***Disclaimer.***

My Pops grew up in a time where certain words and phrases were used and were  not intended to be offensive or hateful,  Sort of like Clint Eastwood's "Walt" character from Gran Torino.  (Not as bad as Walt, though.)  That said, keep in mind that he said certain things without malice or hatred, it is simply the way people of his generation spoke.  The old man is very PC now, for the most part.

1.  Al Donnelly on the fact that I drive his 1993 Ford Tempo to work every day.  "That car is so small for you, you have to get out of it to change your mind."

2.  On me wearing work boots: "You look like a walking contradiction."

3.  When I was younger, I used to sleep late all the time.  "You should get a job as a mattress tester."

4.  On a visit to Trenton State College (Now College of NJ) the head coach was showing us around the weight room, and one of his players was there rehabbing his blown out knee.  The player explained how he blew out his other knee the year before, and has since blown out his "good" knee.  Trenton, being a division three school, does not offer scholarships for athletics.  Al pulls me aside and says'" You wanna be 19 and have two bad knees and not even get them to pay for your college?"  This ended any thoughts I had of playing ball in college.

5.  At a wedding (Kat's) my father was in a hotel room partying with the rest of the Donnelly clan into the wee hours.  A police officer knocked on the door, and asked to keep the noise down.  My father said, "Who are you?"  The cop said "Officer (Forget Name)."  Al says,"Yeah, well I'm Captain Midnight.  Take a hike!"

6.  Every time we ordered Chinese food, Al would say, "The chinamen are laughing at us, you know."  Not sure what he meant, but he always said it.  

7.  When I was a kid, I loved the show Diff'rent Strokes.  Every time I had it on, Al would say, "Get this cutesy black shit off my TV."  It wasn't the fact that Arnold and Willis were black, it was the corniness of the show he objected to.  

8.  Every time Dale came over the house he always went straight for the fridge.  My father would tell him,"You're gonna get a sunburn from the light in the fridge, you're in it so much."

9.   I started my college career at Kean University.  My second semester, Minister Louis Farrakhan's top aide, Khalid Abdul Muhammad came to speak.  He spewed forth all kinds of rascist comments.  It was major news for a while.  he decided that I should "Get out of that Goddamn school and transfer to Montclair State."  I transferred the next semester and graduated in 98.  

10.  At a Halloween Party at my sister's house, some guy came dressed as a flasher with a fake penis and everything.  He thought it would be funny to put the fake penis in my father's hand.  My father got up and smiled at him.  The guy could tell that he had offended Al, so he extended his hand in a peace offering.  Al took his right hand, and then punched the guy in the face with his left. He later explained to me that he used his left because he "didn't want to kill him."

11.  My father has leaned toward the Republican Party for most of his life.  It came as a surprise this year when I asked him who he was voting for.  He said,"The Black Guy."  I asked him why, he said because Obama promised to end the war.  He identifies with the kids in the service because most of them come from similar backgrounds as he did.  Poor, working class people who don't have many options, and the service provides "three hots and a cot."

12.  He never says his age without inserting the word Goddamn in the middle.  Example:  "I'm sixty-Goddamn-seven years old."

13.  Don't eat his pretzels.  EVER.

14.  When I was a kid, I drank a lot of soda.  My father said he was going to change my name to "Pshht."  (the sound of a can being opened.)

15.  One time, my father and Uncle John were up arguing after a night of drinking.  They were probably fighting over who "Mom loved best."  The argument got heated and and my father told his brother to meet him outside.  John went out into the cold to wait so they could fight "like men."  Al went to bed, laughing about what a fool his brother was for standing in the cold waiting for a fight that would never come.  

16.  My father taught me how to fight at a young age.  He taught me how to fight the way he did growing up in the projects in Jersey City.  The basic rules were, always throw the first punch, there is no such thing as a cheap shot, if there's is a group, punch the biggest one in the mouth right away.  He then told me about the best cheap shot he ever saw.  A guy at the truck yard threw his false teeth at his opponent, and when the other guy went to catch them, he popped him right in the mouth.  Luckily for me, I have never had to use his lessons.  

17.  He always used to say of my friend Will, what if Will won't?  It took me years to get that joke.  

18.  At another wedding (Ann's) my father got into an argument with the photographer, who was a good friend of the bride's.  he had made some sort of racy remark to her, and she being his Goddaughter, had to be defended.  He recruited me and the aforementioned Uncle John to find the photographer and "work him over."  Luckily, someone told the guy to get lost for his own sake.  

19.  At all weddings, James Brown's "I Feel Good" must be played the moment my father has reached full intoxication.

20.  His favorite story to tell when we would complain about not getting a toy or something we wanted was the one about his blocks.  When he was a kid, the only toy he had was a set of wooden blocks. One cold night, his family ran out of fuel for the furnace.  Guess what they threw in the furnace?   I can hear the violins playing.  (true story)

21.  I had a mullet in High School.  Some of you may remember.  I thought I looked cool.  Al always told me "I looked like a fag."  (He was right.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

22.  He comes across as such a tough, old school guy, which he is.  But when my son was born, I was feeding him with the bottle in the hospital, and he leans over and says,"Hold the bottle right!  He's gonna get gas and keep you up all Goddamn night!"  What a tender moment.

23.  Every time I see him, which is several times a week, he greets me with some sort of complaint.  "Are you ever going to pickup that Goddamn dog shit on your lawn?  What's the matter, you don't shovel the front walk?  You need to salt the walk better than that.  Your wife's pregnant with my granddaughter and she better not slip!"  I do love the complaints.  He is always right, but I am slow to act because I think I really love to hear the complaints.  

24.  On my wedding day, right after the ceremony, he leaned over to me and said,"That's the smartest thing you ever did."

25.  I think it comes as no surprise for you to learn that Chuck Norris wears Al Donnelly pajamas!   

I could go on, but I don't want to bore you all.  Maybe I'll do a second list sometime.  No need for you to do your own list.  I just thought that I could definitely come up with a 25 Al Donnelly list, and wanted to share it.